With lengthy deployments comes "those days" every so often.
The thing about it is, they don't jump out and beat you over the head. They just kind of creep up on you and suddenly you are lost to the overwhelming feelings!
Sometimes the feelings are sadness. Sometimes the feelings are grief. Sometimes the feelings are loneliness. And sometimes, yes sometimes, the feelings are all of those things.
Today was just one of those days. I was thankful to have some time without the big kids tonight and just have a few moments to cry it out. It helps to release all of those emotions with one big old ugly cry. Tonight was that night.
I was feeling sad about Andy missing out on Brandt's life in these early months. I was feeling overwhelmed with sick children - Layne his tonsils, and Brandt his ears. I was feeling grief over some lost friendships over the past year.
I was wanting to crawl into my pajamas and hang out in bed for the day engrossed in a good book.
Thankfully, the kids keep me pretty preoccupied and these moments are pretty spread apart. Today was actually my first one this deployment. But, man, it got me good today.
I am grateful that we are heading into another day. And I get to spend it with this little man....finally getting to the ENT with him tomorrow.
Just look at that little grin...up to no good. I can't believe that he is now pulling up. I think I am in denial on that one. :)
Thanks for letting me get this all out. I know that these days will come. I am just thankful for the love of my husband and my Father that keeps me going. And thankful for my readers that give me my voice through typed words.
Here's to hoping for a better day tomorrow.